Thoughts 2022-04-03: Rolling the Dice

Well, sadly the news came in yesterday. It looks like my tumor has grown rather than shrinking, as we had hoped. I don't know what that means going forward, I will find out Monday. It's not good though. You hope to beat the odds, but the odds are tough when they are stacked against you. You don't feel surprised, but the disappointment is profound. You have to believe you are destined to buck the trend, that is how you keep moving forward, but in the back of your mind you know the odds are not good. When reality comes out swinging the bitch packs a punch. I'll need some time to catch my breath, but I am no out yet. Shitty deal, but it is what it is. We'll keep fighting and hoping for a swing in luck. All we can do.

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Rolling the Dice

Well, I crapped out rolling the dice today.

All the good rolls must have gotten away,

And I got garbage, straight up, no good luck,

And now the fun of wallowing in the muck.

I rolled a three, instead of a seven

Statistics, yet another cruel lesson.

Looks like some stranger just won 70 million,

Used up Alberta's luck: just one civilian.

Taking the risk, I knew I needed sixes,

I rolled threes, not what I needed to fix it.

I rolled what was expected no outlier here,

Just another statistic, odds fulfilled I fear.

My heart’s desire was a shrinking mass

Sadly, the odds were strongly against that

It's not bad luck, when the outcome meets the odds

But it sure feels fucking rotten when it's the future you have lost.

The image is of Mars' sword hilt. I believe this was taken in a statuary museum in Florence, Italy. I do love me a grotesque.